I contributed my opinion about a stock photo man's facial hair in a sponsored post for Askmen.com.
"Full disclosure: this man is so attractive he could shave “I know the words to every boy band song ever” into his beard and I would still compliment it. However, for the sake of professional facial hair analysis, I will try not to factor in that his jaw was cut from marble. If beards reflect someone’s nature, then this must be the most consistent man in the world. The uniformity of the hair on the top and bottom of his face is seamless. I can’t imagine the steady hand it would require to cut every hair on one’s head with such precision.”
Please note: The editor added the boy band line. I love boy bands. Though, the options I gave him for that line were "I am the Zodiac Killer" and "I do not believe in vaccinating children", so I understand why it was changed.
I created this fake pop song as the intro to a live sketch where the radio is on. It's exactly what it sounds like.
I made what I call An Appropriate Airhorn For Our Day and Age and, originally, put it on Twitter. Now it's here.
As part of a live sketch called Mop in which Kevin Shustack (one of four members of my sketch troupe, Cousins, including Alex Brown, Emery Fine and I) falls in love with a mop. The sketch is more or less an eight minute romance. This is a video montage that I shot and edited that appears in the sketch about halfway through.
To promote Joketown Andy Assaf, Dimitri Kyres, Alain Mercieca, and I, along with some help from Saima Ahmed, Alex Brown, and Danny Belair, created a few short videos. Joketown is a nonsensical and sometimes sinister place, so we tried to capture that. Joketown High alludes to a timely end and, well... so does Joketown Art Gallery.
I've improvised in Precinct four times now; once during it's original run at Montreal Improv Theatre, once during the Montreal Fringe Festival in 2017, once in Toronto at BadDog Theatres Blockbuster Week, and once as part of the Montreal Fringe Encore. Here's a fun promo video I'm in.
I was MC Mommies Little Girl up against MC Mommies Little Boy in a comedy rap battle where we perform in character. Below is my rap (I won).
Dave, you’d never understand
the mother-daughter connection.
We’re twins but watch yourself,
I’ll give your neck a c-section
Mothers love fill me with strength
to perform Dave’s verbal funeral.
What’s that mommy?
Yeah you’re right, I should have eaten him in utero.
I didn’t choose to be born after you,
you act like I co-opted.
But if we weren’t twins,
I would swear you were adopted
Four minutes older, so four minutes wiser?
Those smarts must be a curse.
You think that makes you special?
I think mom wanted you out first.
I dream of the day science will progress
To allow me to go back in.
To live inside my mommy
Between her front and her back skin.
To be an adult baby,
living in her adult womb.
Like a human pizza pocket
or a living mommy tomb.
So don’t tell me you love mommy
when you know I love her most.
Cause if I had mommy jelly,
I’d eat it with mommy toast.
I may not be bright, but you can see I’m right,
or righter than my brother.
My names Donna and I’m signing off,
word to my mother.