beaverton

Canadians tacitly accept ‘Rim’ and ‘Win’ as a rhyme for 32nd year in a row

I wrote this piece for the Beaverton online.

The two extra R's can't save you now.

The two extra R's can't save you now.

Here's an excerpt:

In 2018, Tim Hortons will give away over six hundred free prizes valued at five thousand dollars or more, all while using one slogan valued at five dollars or less. The slogan joins the long list of other bad things Canadians have accepted with a tepid shrug including; Canadian Tire money being legal tender, the first-past-the-post electoral system, and René Angélil essentially making Céline Dion a child bride.

Read the full piece here.

Hot Sibling Placed at Front in Christmas Card Photo

I wrote this piece for The Beaverton online.

Arguably, none of these siblings are hotter than another. I didn't choose the photo.

Arguably, none of these siblings are hotter than another. I didn't choose the photo.

It's a satirical news article. Excerpts include:

Previous Wiley family Christmas cards included Christine dressed as a mischievous elf with Lindsay and Jack in reindeer masks, Christine as a sexy wiseman, and Lindsay and Jack as two, far less sexy wisemen.

Read the full article here.